Beware Of Online Dating/Romance Scams
It took years for me to come to peace with this experience. To this day I’m ashamed that I allowed myself to get played by someone I still don’t know who their real identity is. Out of all my embarrassing experiences in my life, this is in the top three of all time. I wish I had quit before the damage got too strong, but unfortunately, that’s the only way to learn sometimes.
How It Started
This journey into darkness began when someone I was trying to reconnect with just deleted me out of her life. One day I go on Facebook and go to her page and I see the add to a friend option. I’m confused wondering what happened?
What did I do to make her get rid of me from her friend's list? My confusion went to sadness, from sadness to disappointment, and finally from disappointment to pure rage. In the latest form of what felt like a potential relationship had to crumble to nothingness. I had reached my breaking point.
I felt this strong impulse to get her off my mind. So I decided to give online dating a try. NOTE: When you’re in this state after a rejection or being ghosted or whatever the situation may be, give yourself time to grieve. Don’t do what I did and act on impulse. It could lead you into trouble.
So I gave this site called Zoosk a try. I enter basic information on myself and waste no time getting my online dating on. I end up chatting with this girl, I don’t remember what we talked about but the light talks we had were nice. It eventually ended when she told me that she found someone she was interested in.
I respected her honesty and telling me that. It was a bummer but it didn’t really hurt. So ours talks ended. A few weeks later I get this girl named Patrice Glaude messaging me on the site. We exchanged a few messages on Zoosk before she wants to add me on Google hangouts. I’m thinking nice. Everything is so far, so good.
Trouble
Each day, I’m enjoying Patrice saying hi and calling me baby in her messages on Google. I had never experienced being talked to in that way before, so I was taking it all in like a washcloth. She would ask me questions about where I live, am I single, and various other questions trying to get to know me.
I would ask the same questions about her. She said she was from Houston, Texas but she was in Nigeria getting her father’s inheritance because he died and left his funds in Nigeria. This is the part where I would have had alarm bells go off in my head, but I didn’t back away. If anything, I got more intrigued by this Patrice Glaude.
She tells me how her last boyfriend cheated on her and how it really hurt her. I felt sad for her and tried to make her feel better about herself. She also mentioned how she was an only child and how both of her parents were dead. That is a really sad story.
Pretty soon, she started writing these long messages on how important love is and how you know if you have love. I couldn’t say that I disagreed with those long messages, but then she started to repeat those same messages in our chats. ‘’Okay, why does she/he keep repeating these messages?’’ Nevertheless, I still talk to Patrice.
Money Time
At this point, after a month, I was addicted to talking to Patrice. One day she said that she mentioned that she needed money to get to this place in Nigeria to get her inheritance. I don’t remember the amount. I believe it was 100 dollars. I was reluctant at first because I’ve never done this before. I eventually get the money from an ATM machine, go to a place that has a Western Union, and sent the money in her direction.
I felt good helping her and kept thinking I'm gonna meet her soon the only problem is something more severe kept coming up and she kept needing help. I kept giving in to her demands. Pretty soon, I’m sending thousands to her. My bank gets a hold of my transactions to her. This bank teller warned me to leave this person alone.
I don’t listen because I’m in love with Patrice. Eventually, I give personal information to Patrice that costs me to lose my account to the bank. I tell Patrice this. She brushes it off like it’s no big deal. The cycle continues with another bank. Somehow, she gets money into my account she wants me to send to someone else.
This feels dangerous. I’m started to feel like a criminal. But Patrice is in danger in Nigeria. She’s being held against her will in a hotel. I’m stressed out because I want to do the right thing, but at the same time, I feel like my life is starting to come apart giving away my money I'm getting for college at the time. I lose another bank account because I didn’t listen to the wisdom that could of save me time and stress.
At this point, I realize that I have to stop and get myself together. After getting two loans, losing bank accounts, and giving away thousands of dollars, it finally hit me that this tragedy will never end with this person.
No More
I let my feelings be known to Patrice before I cut her off for good. For a year, I felt used and abused mentally. Plus, my money situation is really bad right now. I’m having trouble paying my rent and my other bills.
The next year I really rough for me. I kept thinking I could end up homeless. How embarrassed my family and friends could be if they ever found out I fell for an online scam. I had to focus on saving as hard as I can and tell the bill collectors that I was struggling at the time with my finances.
I start reading about other people who fell for online romance scams, and feel sad for them because I could relate to their pain. I hated seeing people be hard on them for falling for someone that could happen to anyone.
If you haven’t experienced this, you’re very fortunate. It’s a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on anyone (except my enemies). So if someone asks you for money online that you don’t know, don’t send them money. Cut them off immediately. That person doesn’t have your best interest at heart. All this happen for me because felt at a low point emotionally.
That was five years ago. At the time, I didn’t think I would ever recover from that. Thankfully, I’m glad I was wrong and that I never became homeless or went to jail for falling for this scam. As for the person who scammed me, they messaged me a year after, I didn't even bother. There have been other online people who wanted money from me.
Once that happens, I run away and you should too.
